I’m a little late but Happy New Year!!!
2021, meh! It’s almost over. Covid is on the rise, again. It’s hard to return to normal when nothing is normal. I’m happy to be alive! But I’m tired of masking up and getting shots.
Goals for 2022? Yes. Always set goals. I don’t feel the need to share them. Hey! Here’s something good…I have a couple of extra Christmas cards. Would you like one? Send your address to email@example.com.
Look at this guy! When my mind wonders I sometimes think about what kind of tattoo I would get. I don’t think I’m ever going to get one. But if I were to get one, I think I’d get Iggy on my forearm. Why Iggy? Because he’s the world’s greatest dog! I think I nailed it with this photo. My other tattoo idea, again on my forearm, a mermaid wearing glasses. The glasses would be an homage to Cara. I’m sure she’d be proud! Ha ha. Why a mermaid? I don’t know! I just like the classic designs. I don’t really enjoy being in the water. I might need to rethink that idea.
Why a forearm tattoo? Because if you’re going to get a tattoo, get a tattoo! Don’t hide it on your leg! But back to reality…Am I a tattoo guy? Probably not. Am I ever going to get a motorcycle? Probably not. Too many bad Long Island drivers.
I’ve been steering this ship for 20 years! BobBorden.com hit the big “20” on October 31st! How did I celebrate? By forgetting the anniversary and not posting for a bit. Ha ha.
Complete 100 rides with Peltoton and you become a member of the Century Club. They send you a cool t-shirt! Cara was super proud of herself for reaching this milestone. I recently finished my 24th ride. I have A LONG WAY TO GO! So, I decided to buy my shirt on eBay! Cara was not proud of me. #centuryclub @onepeloton#centuryclubcheater#24thRideClub
UPDATE: The suit fit! I couldn’t tell you how happy I was! All of my eating right and working out paid off! (No need to read the previous post about having my pants let out!)
I’ve known about an upcoming wedding for about a year. I should feel great for them but for my own selfish reasons…this is bad news! At one point in my life, I weighed around 4 bills. I got married and eventually lost weight. Proud, I picked this time to buy a new suit. This is my ONLY suit. Thanks to being locked down and lack of exercise, my pants are a little tight! What’s the old joke, these pants remind me of a cheap resort. No ballroom.
For the past year I have been watching what I eat, riding the Peloton and I quit candy. With a month to go before the wedding I tried on the pants. They were still too damn tight! What do I have to do, starve?! I just want to live! Why did I buy these fucking pants at my lowest ever weight? WHY!?
Here are my options: Buy a new suit, lose weight or get my pants let out. Buying a new suit is out of the question and would raise a lot of red flags. Cara would know I gave up. I could lose weight but that’s what I’ve been trying to do for a year! Maybe I could take my pants to the dry cleaner and have them let out. I won’t tell Cara, because, why?
I took them in and the nice lady informed me she can only let them out an inch. Doesn’t seem like enough but I need all the help I can get. Ok, I said, let’s do it! Later that day Cara brought in some shirts to get dry cleaned. I know what you’re saying, “seriously?!” Yes, seriously. Cara gave her name, the dry cleaner looked up her account and saw that something was dropped off earlier. That conversation went something like this, “Oh, I see you dropped something off earlier today. Dry cleaning a suit and letting the waist out.” WTF?! Isn’t there any dry cleaner/customer confidentially?! So Cara took that info in and held on to it.
That night we’re cooking dinner, making small talk and then she says, “So, you’re getting your pants let out?” DAMN! STONE COLD BUSTED! She got me so good! It’s almost always better not to lie to your wife. I’m currently in the market for a not-so-chatty dry cleaner.
Everything he did on the Late Show was great! Off camera he was even better. Class act. R.I.P. Alan.