I remember when I was kid and we were on vacation. I asked my Dad for a drink of water from his canteen. I took a drink and said, “Yuk, I can’t drink this, it’s hot!” He said, “It’s wet isn’t it?” I didn’t say much after that. I think of things like that to get me through this. It still doesn’t seem like he’s gone. Whenever I heard of someone else’s mother or father passing, I was sorry but never really thought about it. It’s pretty heavy. I’ll never take someone else’s loss so lightly again. I don’t have a lot to say. I was helping my Mom on my “vacation” and the week I took off I was dealing with everything else. I’m taking today off to recharge myself. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.

I was driving on the turnpike yesterday, beautiful day. I had my sunglasses on. When I looked in the rear view mirror I could see the road in front of me by looking into my glasses. I was driving while looking in the rear view mirror, pretty cool, huh? I also thought of getting in front of 18-wheelers and blocking for them. Like Smokey and the Bandit. However, I didn’t do it because I didn’t work anything out before hand. I’d like to thank everybody for posting your sympathies on my message board. That was really nice of you. I also want to thank all my friends at work as well. All your messages and cards helped. I also want to thank my friend, Tiffany. She watched my cats for two weeks! Thank you. OK. Talk to you tomorrow. Have a good day. I almost forgot. My Uncle Ron wanted me to make up something about him and put it on my website. So here’s a new segment called…

Untrue Stories about Uncle Ron:
We were at the dinner table and my Uncle took out his dentures and cleaned them in his water glass. OK, that’s it.

I wasn’t going to write anything today. My Dad passed away last week.

He was the greatest man I’ve ever known. A great Husband, Father and Grandfather. He’s responsible for setting me up in New York for the first time. He told me to stay in college when I wanted to quit. He made me the man I am today. I’m going to miss him. God bless you, buddy. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

I’ll resume Bob’s Diary on 3/19/01. Thanks.

March, in like a lion, out like a lamb — am I right? They really pushed that phrase on us in grade school. Every March you could always count on seeing a drawing of a lion and a lamb on the bulletin boards. I still don’t know what it means. Hey, how about putting something up there that we can use! Am I right people?! It gets me so angry, AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you. I got a letter from a student at NYU; her name is Danielle. I’ve got nothing today so I thought I’d answer her questions, online. She asks:

D: In your opinion what is the best movie out in the theatres right now?
Bob: That’s a hard question to answer because I would have to have seen all the movies. You know, the only new movie I’ve seen is O Brother, Where Art Thou. And that was really great. Every time I go to a theatre I just seem to get annoyed by the people around me. There’s a kid in back of me kicking my chair. There’s a guy in front of me laughing in all the wrong places. It ruins the movie for me. And it costs $10 now! I’d like headphone jacks in the armrests, like in an airplane. That way I could bring my own headphones and block out all of the ignorant people that I’m forced to sit by.

D: Can I get a shout out on your website?
Bob: No.

D: Why do you have a car when you can just take the train into the city?
Bob: My car is my freedom machine. I love to drive, I like to get away on the weekends and I like to cruise for chicks. (Note to the guys: You can’t pick up women in a Skylark.)

D: How’s life at Dave’s?
Bob: Life at Late Show is great. It’s a great place to be and I’m thankful to be here.

Danielle, thank you for checking out my website, please tell your friends.

I watched some TV last night but nothing worth mentioning. The show is on hiatus next week and I’m going on hiatus as well. This is the last Bob’s Diary until March 12. Check out my diary archives for the best of Bob’s Diary. I’m also going to try and get a new note from Paula today. She’s been busy the last few weeks. OK, that’s it until the 12th. Have a good one.

I’ve been listening to my headphones more and more. I’m just blocking everything out. On the bus today I was so glad I had them. There were two girls across from me just chatting away. That’s death on the bus. “My rich boyfriend this and my boss that.” Thank you, headphones! However, the downfall of headphones is a very pretty girl dropped her bag and I picked it up for her. I said you’re welcome but I’m not sure if she said thank you. It didn’t matter because she was with a guy. They’re always with a guy! The guy is at home or the guy is on the way or the guy is on a business trip. I WANT TO BE THE GUY! I’M SO ANGRY, AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Internet acting, thank you.


On my mix tape this morning I had three songs by Ozzy Osborne and then it goes into a long mix by Mathew Sweet. What was I thinking when I made that tape! I was kicking it with Bark at the Moon and then it goes into this sappy stuff. I like Mathew Sweet but not after Ozzy, it just stopped me in my tracks. I listened to The Pretenders while I was in the shower. That’s some good stuff! Last night I watched some odd movies. I started off with Loverboy and then I kept flipping back to Sharky’s Machine. All in all, a bad night for cinema. I ended the evening talking with Walter. I lent him this movie called Heavy Metal Parking Lot. It’s pretty funny. It reminded us of our wasted youth. Although, his parking lot in San Francisco and mine in Pittsburgh wasn’t as bad as in this film. It’s really funny.

OK, that’s it have a good day.

Today on the bus I felt like it was my world and everybody was living in it. I’m not sure what that means but that’s just how I felt. Last night I watched Swingers for about the 100th time. It’s so great. Here’s a new segment to Bob’s Diary, it’s called, Bob’s Hollywood. Here it goes:

I was backstage getting the guests to sign release forms a few years ago. Vince Vaughn was a guest that night. I said to him, “I really loved Swingers, you were really great.” And he said, “Thanks man, thank you very much.”

That’s it for Bob’s Hollywood. I saw this show on BBC America, I forgot the name but the host is the keyboard player from Squeeze. Anyway, they have 5 or 6 bands in this big room and they all play songs. It’s really good. I’ll get the name for you tomorrow. The Foo Fighters were one of the bands on that night. The Foo Fighters just amaze me. His last band ended so tragically and he didn’t call it quits. It’s pretty amazing when you think about it. OK, that’s all I got. Have a good day.

Friday night, I got a haircut. Saturday, I did my laundry and went to the store. That’s it! That’s all I did. I watched a lot of movies: The Cider House Rules, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and Starman. And a bunch of others I can’t even remember. A friend of mine wrote to me and said that she hasn’t been to my site in a while. She caught up via my diary and had this to say, “You sure do lead a boring life.” She was kidding but I kind of feel like maybe she’s right. Then I think, “What am I missing?” The answer I came back with is nothing. I’ve been out with friends to bars, restaurants and movies…what else is there? I had a great time watching movies yesterday. I didn’t have a shower till six o’clock! Now that’s living!


I did leave out one thing I did. I went to the bank on Saturday too. I closed out my account. They gave me the money in cash! I was tempted to go to Atlantic City to double my savings, ha ha. So, that was it for my boring weekend. I didn’t meet the girl of my dreams–what can I say? She didn’t ring my doorbell. Have a good day.

I love the guitar. I’ve had one since I was 16 years old and to this day, I can’t put two chords together. I suck! I’m looking at my guitar right now. It’s in its case! I can’t sell it because growing up, I always thought it would be cool to have my own place with a guitar. I also have dumbbells.

Lord knows why I have them! It must be a mind game I play. Look at the dumbbells, hey, I think that counts as a workout. This was one busy week at work. I’m going to sleep all day Saturday. Sleep, sleep, sleeeeeeeeep sorry. How about that snow! Am I right people? I’m in the mood to get my haircut — just a trim, nothing major. For a while last year, for about six months, I was cutting my own hair. It was buzz cut. It was cool to see all that hair fall off. I probably looked like an ass! I just couldn’t stand going to get my haircut anymore. It was like playing 100 questions with a stranger, every single time. Where you from, what do you do, blah, blah, blah! Just cut my hair, that’s all I want. When I was walking home last night, I saw a lot of homeless people sleeping in the subway; it’s very cold in NYC. I’m pretty darn lucky. Haircut, please. I’m going to go and have the best day and weekend of my life!

TIME FOR BOB’S FRIDAY CLIFFHANGERS:
WILL BOB MEET THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS?
CAN BOB SAY NO TO THE SWEET, SWEET TASTE OF LIQUOR?
WILL BOB STICK TO HIS DIET?
CAN BOB GET A DECENT HAIRCUT WITHOUT SPILLING HIS SOUL?
WILL THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WAKE UP AND PUT OUT SOME GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED, KICK BUTT ROCK ‘N ROLL?!
CAN BOB’S CAR SURVIVE THE BLIZZARD OF 2001?

TUNE IN MONDAY TO FIND OUT!!!!!!

Have a good weekend.

Thursday. I got my car back. It seems to be doing fine but I think the computer chip has to get used to my car. It didn’t feel 100%. I started to watch My Dog Skip; it looked good so I stopped watching because I want to watch it from the beginning. I kept flipping back to The Grammy Awards. Yuk. I’m not going to review that show. It just left me with this general feeling: Who cares?! The music they’re pushing on us is horrible! Bring back The Clash! OK, my brother was supposed to write something in my diary today but he didn’t make the deadline. So, instead of plugging his website, check out another site: www.colinhay.com. OK, have a great day.


I can’t wait until Friday!