I was busy at work yesterday, really busy. That made me feel good. It’s always good to be a help to someone. I’d like to send out a special congratulation to my friend, Pam. Yesterday, Pam passed her driving test. Pam’s from the New York area so she never really had a need to get her license, she could always catch a train. Anyway, congratulations! I flunked my test the first time out. I told everybody I was taking it and then, well, you know. Years later when I moved to NJ, I had to take a written test. I flunked that too! I guess the bottom line is this: I don’t test well. The written test wasn’t even about driving. It was all about drinking and how much tire tread you should have. They always give that stupid example about putting a penny on the tire to see how much tread you have. I still don’t understand it. I say, if the tire has air, let’s roll.


I took the PATH train to work this morning. Man, it’s crowded on that thing! That’s it for today, short and sweet. Have a good day.

Tell a friend about BobBorden.com

I couldn’t go to the store this past weekend because I was sick. Well, I needed to get some cat food last night and I knew the store I was going to didn’t carry the brand they like. But it was late and I had to get them something, so I went anyway. It turns out; they now carry the brand of food my cats like! I tell you, it’s the little things. I consider myself an aspiring actor. And whenever I hear of a casting call, I always send in my headshot.


Well, the other day, I got a call to be a photo double on the set of Spider-Man. I was as excited as a dog with a bone. It turns out, I was bigger than the person they needed to match but for a few minutes there, I was ready to pack it up and move to Beverly, Hills, that is. Booooooooo! Anyway, that’s my life; the highs are high and the lows, low. I think I’m going to start my own band. I have so many songs in my brain and no way to get them out. There’s only one difference between Pearl Jam and my imaginary band, cold hard cash. Think about it, what was the last record you bought? Probably something you heard on the radio or saw on TV, right? Who’s to say that their music is any better than the songs in my head? Exactly – nobody. Some might say don’t I worry about selling out? My answer is now, and always will be, where do I sign up?! Bob needs a new pair of shoes; you know what I’m saying? I went to the post office today. It turns out that when my building was re-keyed a few weeks ago they didn’t give a key to the post office. The building managers didn’t tell anyone that we wouldn’t be getting any mail! That just gets me angry! Somebody should have put a note up in the building – that would have been nice. Time to move. No mail for over a week and a half!!!! I have only 3 days before my bills have to be in. I’m moving; 5 years of this kind of crap is too much. Horrible.

On the bus this morning I noticed some graffiti. I usually don’t do this but it appears that Big Jimmy, of the 214 posse, loves Maria. I think that’s great; good luck you crazy kids! That’s it for today. Have a good one. CFL. Big ups to Goumas — get well soon! I still may have a fever.

Sunday, I had this crazy fever. Chills and everything! It felt like my head was going to explode. My “day off” was 90% moaning. I feel much better today. A day of rest was just what I needed. There’s not much point in talking about my weekend at this point. Today I’m trying something new, boxers. So far, so good. I’ve worn boxer briefs for years. I was in the store and I just said, what the heck! I saw Memento on Sunday, right before I got sick, hmmmmm, a coincidence? It was really well done and a little confusing. I have a bad feeling that my car is getting ready to bite the dust. It seemed like the transmission was slipping on the highway this weekend. I checked my transmission fluid and the dipstick is rusted, probably not a good sign. I may just get rid of it and see how it goes without a car for a while. I don’t really need one in this area anyway. I haven’t received any mail in over a week. I have to go to the post office tomorrow to see what’s the deal.


OK, that’s it for today. I don’t want to over do it on my first day back. Have a good one.

If you’re reading this, I have a fever and stayed home sick today. I’ll be back on Tuesday.


This stinks!

Yuk, I went to dinner last night with friends. The company was great but the restaurant, a chain, wasn’t. They put too much crap on your plate. Just a lot of food and nothing’s really good. To top it off, I made a mistake and got a Cinnabon. It was sooooo tasty! Here’s a phrase that you shouldn’t be allowed to say, “Extra icing, please.” So, I’m going to learn from my mistakes and start my diet again, after I have one more candy bar.


Those records I told you about yesterday, Pete Yorn and B.R.M.C., I like Pete Yorn, but the other CD isn’t my style. I’m going to stick to the classics from now on. Billy Idol is still great. I could listen to White Wedding 100 times and never get sick of it. “It’s a, nice day for a White Wedding, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” Great stuff! I listened to Rush on my headphones this morning. I just had a big old smile on my face. It was great. After yesterday’s big diary, I don’t have much to say. I’m going to shoot a short film tomorrow so this will be the last Diary until Monday.

Have a great weekend, CFL and tell a friend about BobBorden.com.

You set yourself up with some new clothes… I wore a shirt from my spring collection yesterday. I was brimming with pride and was ready to ring in a new era of self-confidence. The first thing out of my boss‘s mouth was “What’s up, Charlie Brown?” “Damn,” I said to myself! Maybe it was a fluke; maybe he’s the only one that will pick up on it. My other boss, Justin, came through the door, without talking to Eric, and said the same thing! I knew I was in for it. The same thing happened with my friends, Jay and Walter. “How’s Lucy?” and “Where’s Snoopy?” are just some of the comments I heard throughout the day. The nice people that didn’t want to say anything just looked and smiled. I would say, “Charlie Brown, right?” And they would just laugh. At the very least, 10 people had some comment. Well, maybe Bob 2000 would put that shirt away, but Bob 2001 will continue to wear it with pride! The shirt is orange, not yellow! I like it.


I bought this CD by The Clash called Sandinista!. A friend recommended it. Well, I didn’t like it. Goumas! So, I traded it in last night and was going to buy something safe. Like a Springsteen or a Motley Crue, then I said, why be safe? Why not support some of the new kids coming up? Well, I’ve reached the point where I don’t know what’s new/good anymore. I had to ask the guy at the counter if this was any good. I felt like an old woman. Anyway, I bought two CDs that, granted I’ve only listened to once, have great potential. The first is by, Pete Yorn and the second is by, B.R.M.C. That stands for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. The later I bought because I have motorcycles on the brain this week. And I think BRMC is the name of Marlon Brando‘s gang inThe Wild One. I’m going to listen to them today. I haven’t bought a CD in a while because of Napster and I had a big DVD obsession. Speaking of Napster, a lot of you have been asking on my message board, what do I think of the Napster controversy and do I condone receiving music without paying royalties? I can answer both queries by saying this: Where do I sign up? Free music? I’m so there. Having said that, once the initial thrill passed, it became a pain. You get a song that Joe six-pack put up, skips and all. People lied about their connection speeds. It shouldn’t take 37 hours to download Crazy Train! Just be honest, I don’t care if you have a 28.8 modem. Hey, that may work for my stand-up act! I also hate it when a song gets cut off too early. You can tell a good song from a bad song just by listening to the ending. Is it good enough to fade out? The fade out is the pinnacle of song endings. It means that the hook is so sweet; there’s no way to possibly build on it, so let it fade. Now that I think about it, the explosion is also a good way to end a song. If I had a CD out, every song would start and end with an explosion. A guy in the Hello Deli said that it snowed this morning. In the words of Prince, “Sometimes it snows in April.”

I have a theory that my web designer, Walter, doesn’t read my Diary. So, this is a just a test; Walter is a jerk. Will he or won’t he see that? Only time will tell. (Yeah, I read your diary. Great story about the shirt. Give my best to Pigpen! -Walter) That’s it for today. I’m wearing a new, plain yellow shirt today. I couldn’t possibly be teased for that, right? Be real, CFL and SFX: explosion!

A few months ago I watched this show on the Discovery Channel. It’s some sort of profile show; I can’t remember the exact title. Anyway, they profiled this guy in California, Jesse James. His shop makes custom motorcycles. They showed him making a gas tank from a piece of metal. It was incredible and beautiful. He makes choppers, the kind of bike that Captain America drove in Easy Rider. Anyway, I found his website online and wrote to him yesterday. I just said how great that show was and how cool it must be to live the dream. And he wrote back, “Thanks Holmes …CFL..Jesse.” Now I ask you, how cool is that? CFL, means Choppers for Life. I have chopper tastes and a Skylark budget. Checkout his site, westcoastchoppers.com, they have some really sweet bikes, incredible.


I was going to see a movie last night but instead, I opted for a quiet night with the cats. Seriously, what am I missing at the movies? They fall in love; there’s an explosion and a big car chase – blah, blah – BLAH! Hollywood, are you listening? We’re sick of the same old, same old! What a horrible commute this morning! I couldn’t move my arms, I was packed in there and we were stuck in traffic to boot! I just wanted to scream. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I feel better now. We’re never gonna survive, unless, we get a little Crazy – Seal.

That’s it, I’m out. CFL, it doesn’t sound the same coming from me. Damn!

I had a lovely weekend. I started things off on Friday by shooting the prequel to our short film. We had to stop because we were having audio problems. We’ll try again next week. I can’t give out any details yet because if they hear about it, they’ll steal my idea. You know who they are; they’re the ones always talking.


Saturday, I went to Nutley, NJ and did my laundry. Why Nutley? Why not, is my question to you. My annual rite of spring has passed, that’s right; I bought some short sleeve shirts at the Big and Tall store. My large butt hasn’t seen the inside of a Gap for 10 years, ha ha! I also picked up a bargain game, Medal of Honor. I’m hooked. I played that Saturday night and I started to play it Sunday morning, when my friend, Tiffany, called and we went to the park to hang out. What a lovely day! I got some sun on my bone-white body. There was this little bird in a tree and it was just singing up a storm. I looked at Tiffany and said, “I’m going to kill that bird.” We both had a good laugh. So, that was my Easter. Sitting in the park, threatening the life of a bird.

For the past two years I’ve gone to Connecticut to spend Easter with my friend Theresa and her family but I just wasn’t into it this year (Because of my Dad’s passing). They’re good people. You know what I’ve been meaning to talk about for weeks and weeks, but I kept forgetting? Every time I get in my car, I cut my finger. I have no idea how it happens? It’s probably my car punishing me for driving it until it drops. So, other than a bus driver that drove too fast this morning, that’s it.

R.I.P. – Joey Ramone.