I think I’m going to try and learn the guitar again. I’ve started that journey many times but have failed. I figure – what the hell? Instead of playing theDukes of Hazzard, you might as well pick up a trade. Or at least read a book. Speaking of the Dukes, I finished the game last night! – 18 levels in three days. Well, really only two, because I only played it at night this week. So, I’m thinking that’s probably some kind of record. Anyway, back to the guitar, my goal is to be able to play Blizzard of Ozz, by Ozzy Osbourne. There’re some sick licks on that record. And to set an even higher goal, I want to start my own Ozzy tribute band and tour the world. The name of the band will be Over the Mountain. Just a guitar, a drum machine and me. That’s it – I work alone. If it’s OK, I’d like to try out my Ozzy banter:
Are you ready to get crazy?
Are you ready to go f**king wild?
Here’s Flying High Again, so keep on smoking those joints!
And then, just in case they think I’m kidding around, I’ll throw in another Are you ready to get crazy?!!!!!! They’ll freak! In all my years of going to heavy metal concerts, the best banter by far is by Paul Stanley of Kiss. He gets the crowd going! You have to see it to appreciate it. He makes you feel good for buying millions of dollars in Kiss merchandise. He puts you at odds with the critics that said Kiss was a fad and a joke. It’s great stuff. The farewell tour was amazing! I saw it in Pittsburgh. A week after the concert, I was riding the bus in Hoboken. I saw this guy with a Kiss Farewell Tour T-shirt on. I said, “Did you see that tour?” He said, “Yeah, it was great, I saw it last week in Pittsburgh.” I said, “No way, me too!” Just then I had to get off the bus. I looked back at the bus and we gave each other the heavy metal salute, it was awesome. Can you even begin to calculate the odds of that ever happening? Two guys at the same show, that haven’t met, run into each other, on a bus, in Hoboken a week later. It drives me crazy just thinking about it. What if he didn’t wear that shirt? What if I took a later bus? I have a feeling I’m going to meet my future girlfriend on a bus. I hope she has a Kiss T-shirt on or I’ll probably never talk to her! I slept in today. I always set my alarm to wake up at 6 but I usually get up around 6:30/7:00. I didn’t get up today until 8:00. Now, I still got to work early, 9:30, but I just don’t feel right. I get up so early because when I came to New York and started to work here, I didn’t want to be late. So, I’d come to work extremely early. It’s just a habit I haven’t been able to break. However, It’s a good habit. I think that’s all I have today. Have a good day.
Paul Stanley said it best,
“When you’re down in the dumps and you need something to get up back up, what do you want?”
Audience: “COLD GIN!”
Paul Stanley: “What, I can’t hear you?”
Audience: “COLD GIN!!”
Paul Stanley: “All right, COLD GIN!!!!!!!!”
Have a great day! ROCK N’ ROLL FOREVER!!!!!!!!
Friday night, Playstation. That’s all I did. Saturday, I woke up around 10:30 and started to play Playstation again. My friend, Jay, invited a bunch of us over to his place to watch Springsteen on HBO. I accepted and wondered what I would do between now and then to kill the time. I went back to bed, for four hours. That ruined my weekend. Too much sleep! I was never the same after that. Today, I feel like I’m back to normal. The Springsteen concert was great! He truly is The Boss.
I did the usual Sunday things, laundry and A & P. After that I went to the toy store to buy a game. I bought The Dukes of Hazzard, it’s a video game now! Needless to say, that was the rest of my Sunday. It has 18 levels and I’m already on 16. My friend, Tiffany, asked me to join her and her friends for dinner but I couldn’t stop playing this game. Pretty bad. I only stopped long enough to watch King of the Hill, The Simpsons and The Sopranos. I did manage to put a little time aside to work on my stand-up comedy act. Here it goes:
There are some people that seem like they really need a cell phone – Then there’s the type that really don’t need one. Middle-aged, overweight people, you know who you are, you don’t need a cell phone. You know you don’t have any friends. Seriously, what is so important that you have to put your devil dog down for and pick up that phone. What, is there a sale on Cracker Jacks?
There’s a new species among us – Not men, not women – Ugly people that drive convertibles. Where do they get the nerve? Don’t roll up on me looking like you just got beat with the ugly stick. Don’t you realize you’re on display? Put that top back up Grandma and go make me some cookies!
That’s it — I think my stand-up is getting better. I had a horrible ride on the bus this morning. The bus was hot, we were stuck in traffic and I was squeezed into this seat with no leg room. The only saving grace was the woman beside me. She was wearing a lovely skirt. So, every now and then when things got too tough, I’d sneak a peak at her legs. Then I thought, would this woman ever go out with me? And then I got angry. Paula, would say I’m like a library, I have issues. Speaking of Paula, she’s not keeping up with her notes. What up, Paula?
That’s it. Have a great day.
I don’t really have a lot to say today. Yesterday was a long day at work, two shows on Thursday. So, my day was work and home. I did forget to mention something the other day. I was walking through thePort Authority (bus station) and I noticed a blind man walking through the station and he was whistling. I just thought that was great. We all think we have problems and then you see something inspiring like that. I’m lucky to get through there with sight! It made me think.
Check out tonight’sLate Show, we have a 40-piece symphony joining Paul and the band. It was really neat. Looking back at my Diary’s this week I talked about music a lot. In keeping with that theme, my friend Lee, let me borrow Robert Plant’s Pictures at Eleven. I’m going to describe that CD in one word: sexy. I want to thank to my boss, Justin. He’s giving me his old Playstation. There’s only one catch; I have to be his maid for a year. You have to take the good with the bad I guess. I’m looking forward to this weekend. I’m going to a sick rave on Saturday. Just kidding. I want to sleep but I also want to walk around if this nice weather keeps up. There was some idiotic couple arguing on my street last night. They were going at it for about 30 minutes. It drove me crazy! I live on the other side of the tracks. Anyway, that reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from American cinema. In Purple Rain, Kid’s mom and dad got in a big fight, when The Kid confronted his dad. His dad just gave him a few words of wisdom, “Don’t ever get married.” And then he took a long drag on his cigarette. You’re asking yourself, “And the point of that story is?” I don’t know – it’s Friday. Time for Bob’s Friday Cliffhangers:
Will Bob meet the girl of his dreams?
Will Bob exercise this weekend?
Can Bob remember where he parked his car?
Will Bob meet the girl of his dreams?
Wait, I said that already!
Can Bob extend the life of his winter wardrobe by cutting the sleeves off of his shirts? I just had a great idea – corduroy shorts – anything?
Hey, when do we get that hour of daylight savings time back anyway? I’m still messed up because of that.
Will Bob purchase a low mileage car for under $1000?
Blah, Blah, Blah – That’s it! Have a great weekend.
I received some good information from some people yesterday. Barry, informed me that NBC plays SCTV at 1:30am, thanks for that info, I usually turn in around 11:30/12:00. And Joe wrote to me about Keith Richards. He told me about Keith Richards and the x-pensive winos’ live CD. I do have that and it’s great. It just kicks butt! When they get going on a groove, well, there’s nothing sweeter. I was listening to music on my Mini Disc last night and Nick Drake’s Pink Moon was in the mix — what a great song. That’s the song in the VW Cabrio ads. It’s about as perfect as a song gets. I was walking home, listening to that song and I just wanted to yell out, “Lord what do you have in store for me?!” That probably doesn’t make any sense, that’s just how I felt at that moment. After that, I bought a six pack of Bud and some Skittles. Mom, I only had one beer, I was just in the mood for one. I told myself that Monday I’d go back to my diet, but I failed. I’m pushing the date back to Sunday. I’m fine for breakfast, lunch and dinner; I just feel the need for something sweet in the evening. I’m really looking forward to this spring/summer. I plan on doing a lot of walking. I wrote on my message board yesterday that the sun was shining in my office. It felt so good! I just wanted to be outside at that point. It looks like it’s going to be a lovely day today as well. I found a cool site yesterday. It’s the police scanner in Jersey City, NJ. I think it’s neat. Continuing with my guest speaker series of a few weeks ago, here’s my boss, Eric:
“A fact about Bob-You can’t tell from visiting his web site-but he over does it on the Aqua Velva. It’s a joke around the office (behind his back)”
Ah, ha ha ha! Very funny Eric. OK, that seems like an odd statement and it’s totally untrue. People don’t talk about me behind my back, right? SFX: Cricket, cricket. OK, I think that’s enough for one day.
Have a good one.