Friday! Hello. I took my car into the shop this morning. He doubts they can get to it today but he’s going to try. It started right up, DAMN THAT CRAZY MACHINE!!!!! It probably just needs a good old fashion tune-up, I hope. The bus ride in this morning was a joy. It was a newer bus. The windows were sealed so it was climate controlled. The seats contoured to your body and it was clean! Also, the bus was full but mysteriously quiet. New Jersey Transit did right by me today. I cheated on my diet last night. I had a bag of cheese curls. I wanted them, so I had them. There was no stopping me. My friends went out to get a drink after the show and I wasn’t up for it because I don’t drink anymore. I think that’s why I did it. What’s the point of going to a bar a having a Diet Coke? I was talking to my friend Pam yesterday and we both agree that the best diet drink out there is Diet Dr. Pepper. I listened to a lot of music last night. My friend Tom brought in The Best of The Clash for me. I can’t get enough of them this week. You have to get their London Calling album. My guest speaker series has exceeded my expectations. We had to close down the message board at one point because of all the postings. Oh, before I forget, I’m going to be hosting a chat in my Chat Room at 9 PM EST, so tell your friends. OK, back to the guest series. To finish off the week I’ve invited someone familiar to fans of BobBorden.com, Paula. Take it away Paula…
Wow! My own little snippet on Bobborden.com. Making the daily diary is quite an honor and a privilege. Enormous responsibility – Holy crap — I can’t handle the pressure! Millions of people reading this and I have nothing to say. How totally embarrassing! Almost as embarrassing as the time I went tubing down the Delaware River with friends, slipped out of my tube, couldn’t get up, then finally had to walk backwards in flippers with my bathing suit stuck up the crack of my ass. Oh, did I mention that unfortunately there were pictures? Well, there were. So, thanks for this great honor.
As usual, Disclaimer: The views expressed by Paula do not necessarily reflect the views of BobBorden.com
OK, thanks, Paula. That’s quite the visual, isn’t it? Next week, I’ve lined up my brother, George. He has a lot to say about Heavy Metal in a modern society – As always, checkout his site, Aftershok.com. Now, it’s time for Bob’s Weekend Cliffhangers!
Will Bob stick to his diet?
Can Bob still be social without drinking?
Will Bob’s car get fixed at a reasonable rate?
Will Bob meet the girl of his dreams?
Can Bob finish his rock opera about the plight of the ant?
TUNE IN MONDAY TO FIND OUT!!!!! Have a good one.
This just in: Walter just informed me that I don’t have a chat room. So I won’t be in it tonight, sorry.
Hello. I didn’t do much last night. I watched High Noon but fell asleep halfway through. I got up, listened to music and then I went to bed. Quite the exciting Valentine’s Day! I didn’t say it yesterday because I didn’t want to influence anybody else’s day: I think Valentine’s Day sucks! A holiday to tell someone that you care about them? As my Uncle Ron would say, “Come on!” If I find someone I’m sure as heck not going to wait for February 14th to express my love. Sweet lord let me find someone! I’d like to say Happy Birthday to my friend Tiffany. Happy Birthday! She’s having a get together tonight but I can’t make because I’m working late. Is there anything else? I think that’s it for now. In keeping with my guest speaker series this week, I asked Mike McIntee, Wahoo Gazette, to add his two cents. OK, here’s Mike’s Two Cents. Have a good day.
Hello everyone. I would like to take a second to thank Bob Borden for this fantastic opportunity to speak to you. The internet is a wonderful thing. It truly does create the Global Village I learned about in high school. And now, my slice of New York story.
My wife Denise and I were to meet a couple from California for dinner in New York City. We did not know them at all. They were friends of friends. Denise had gotten them and us tickets to the Rush Limbaugh TV Show that ran for a couple of years and they wanted to treat us to dinner. Since the price was right, we accepted. The restaurant was on the East Side of Manhattan; the Rush Limbaugh show was staged on the West Side. After the show, I we got into my car and we drove to the East Side, 50th Street just before Lexington. It was the holiday season and traffic was chaotic, even for Manhattan. The guy from California reads out the address, 247 E. 50th Street. As we approached the location, I see a parking spotright in front of 247 E. 50th Street. I figure there must be a hydrant there or it’s a No Parking Zone. I halfway pull into the spot and get out of my car to find out why the spot was open. I could find no signs. I could find no hydrant. The doorman to the building next to the restaurant gives a yell, “The spot’s fine.” I quickly parallel park RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE RESTAURANT and the four of us walk inside. I am so excited and can barely contain myself. I tell my new friends what a find the parking space was but they’re not too impressed. I go on and on to Denise about the parking spot but she shoots me a dirty look as if I was embarrassing her. I get up to go to the bathroom just to tell somebody, a waiter, a diner, a bartender, about my parking spot right in front of the restaurant. Since they are all New York City dwellers, they don’t own a car so they can’t appreciate my luck. I am beside myself. I sit back down and try to enjoy my dinner. All I wanted to do was talk about the spot. They wanted to talk about Limbaugh and the magnificent city of New York. After dinner Denise offers them a ride back to their hotel, 20 blocks away. As we get into the car, I stand outside hating to give up the spot. But I had to. It was the greatest parking spot I ever found in Manhattan. It happened ten years ago and I still get tingles thinking about it.
Thank you for listening to my story.
I ride the bus with my headphones on now. People can talk, chew gum with their mouths open or talk on cell phones and I could care less! I listen to The Clash‘s London Calling album in total pleasure. I wonder what it was like during the recording of that record. Did they get along? Did they record in the same room? How long did the sessions last? They made a record 20 years ago and it’s better than anything put out today.
It’s St. Valentine’s Day, who gives a crap! I don’t want to send out negative vibes, but that day has just never worked out for me. Valentine’s Day is great if you have someone but I got nothing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, I just think it would be nice to care about someone and actually have her care back. Is that asking too much? I was just going to go on this big rant about how it’s the city and everybody is on the fast track but the truth is–it’s me. I haven’t made myself available. I built a wall of flesh around myself and blamed “them” for not wanting to go out with me. It’s funny the lies we tell ourselves, isn’t it? Ha, freaking, ha! Hey, here’s some good news; I didn’t get a parking ticket yesterday. I’m going to take my car in the shop this weekend to see what the problem is. Please don’t let it cost $500, PLEASE! J and D wrote to me about Netflix.com yesterday. They said they didn’t have such a good experience. So I canceled it today. I’m not sure how I’m going to rent DVDs now? Getting them and sending them back in the mail is a pain. I registered with a cool website today, Freecar.com. They let you drive a car for two years, for free. You pay for gas and insurance. The only catch is, you have to advertise something on your car. For instance, let’s say Starbucks wants to advertise with freecar.com, they wrap your car in one big ad. You become a rolling endorsement of a product. And you get a car for two years. I think it’s a pretty good deal. Have you seen my car? Anyway, I’m sure there’re hundreds of thousands of people ahead of me. I’m just grasping at straws. OK, that’s it. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, I’m going to go home tonight and cry myself to sleep. I almost forgot. I enjoyed Walter’s Woody Allen story so much yesterday that I asked my friend Jay to submit something today. It’s a new feature to my site and I call it Jay Recommends… Each week or whenever he feels like it, Jay will recommend a DVD for you to view. OK, so here’s Jay:
Thanks, Bob, for inviting me to contribute a DVD review to your site. Given yesterday’s Academy Award nominations and Steven Soderbergh’s history-making nominations (two for Best Director and two for Best Picture), I was ready to go with an enthusiastic DVD review of one of his recent films that has gone largely overlooked, “The Limey.”However, after finishing my review I made the awful mistake of seeing the new movie“Hannibal.” Now, I’m a big fan of horror movies as much as the next guy and I’ve never been that bothered by the fake movie gore (“Fangoria,” anyone?), but this pretentious piece of crap crossed the line and managed to be both offensive and stomach churning in equal doses. Basically, for the first time in my movie-going history I came this close to losing my popcorn and the only thing that kept me from walking out was the fear of losing it on the way out of the theater. This is supposed to be entertainment? Forget it. Stay at home and, instead, let me recommend another DVD that’s suitable for the entire family: “Fantasia 2000.” Great animation, fantastic music, a bit of humor from Steve Martin, stunning video and audio quality, and that trademark wholesome quality from the folks at Disney. You can’t go wrong.
That’s all. Except to say “Thank you, Bob” and to wish my boy Stevie good luck on Oscar night.