They don’t call me Bobby Vegas for nothing. I left Hoboken around 9 o’clock on Friday and drove to Atlantic City. I got there and held off on the serious gambling until I could survey the area. I didn’t want to rush into anything. Years ago, I went into a casino and lost $200 in about an hour. That was a bad feeling and I didn’t want to repeat it. OK, back to the story, the $100 I said I was only going to gamble with became $150 and by the time I walked through the casino doors, it was $200, I added the extra $50 for travel expenses, ha ha. During the checking out phase I dropped about $60 into various slot machines, big mistake. The slots take your money very quickly and it’s easy to get caught up in a trap of one more $20 and I’ll probably hit the jackpot. I finally thought the time was right to find a blackjack table.
Walter and I found a $15 table that we were comfortable with. I put $100 down and started my journey. I was up, I was down, back up again, up, down a little, down a lot until I ended up with the $100 I started out with. By this time it was probably close to 3am, we were tired and hungry. I looked at my stack of $100 chips and put it all on one hand. I said screw it, if I win, I win, lose, I lose. I lost. Oh well, we went to eat some breakfast. It was goooooooood. So good, that my energy was back. I went to the old ATM and took out $100. Just in case you’re counting, I’ve taken out a total of $300. I said to Walter, “I’m going back, you in?” And to his credit, he was in. I also want to thank Walter because if left on my own, I have a tendency to make sucker moves. An example of a sucker move is putting your last $100 on one hand; see what I’m saying? He was a good coach when I needed advice. Anyway, we had a great run at this table. I doubled down here and I doubled down there. Before I knew it I had a big stack of green chips in front of me. Green chips are $25. The dealer shuffled the deck and two more people joined the table and then we lost a couple of big hands and I said I was out. I think the new people threw off the good vibe. So, I left the table with one chip. A $500 chip! I won! I left a casino up for the first time in my life! So, if you’re still counting, I broke even and won $200. What a fun night! My boss, Eric, gave me $20 and told me to put it on red. If I win, walk away. I won; it was so easy, I thought, why not win him some more money? So, I let it ride and I lost. Again, a sucker move. He was cool about it. He gave me until 5 o’clock to clean out my desk, ha ha. My friend Jay gave me $10 to play with and I lost that too. My other boss, Justin, went to Foxwoods casino and won $395 playing roulette. He was only there for two hours.
On Saturday, I drove back to Hoboken and went to the A & P. I was dragging all day. I took a nap around four o’clock and just watched TV Saturday night. They’re going to raise my rent again. I may have to move in the not too distant future. Hoboken has priced me out. It just costs too much to rent here. There’s a new development on every block – it seems that way anyway. Oh well, 5 years in one town is probably enough. Does anybody know anything about Queens? Sunday, I woke up early and did my laundry. That reminds me, I’d like to work out a little something for my stand-up comedy act, here it goes:
I go to the laundry every week or every other week, you know, like normal people. However, there are people among us that do their laundry for the whole year. This usually happens when I’m doing my laundry. Where do these people come from? They come in with five bags and go back out to the car for five more. Talking about, you got any more machines?
Is that anything? After that thrill, I spring-cleaned the heck out of everything. I found 3000 Spanish Pesetas in my Spanish-to-English dictionary. 3000! I thought I struck it rich. I was going to retire and open a bar in Key West. I went to the bank this morning and it turns out that 3000 Pesetas equals out to only $14.67, damn. Now, I have to return my fur coat and solid gold toilet. Other than watching The Sopranos, that’s all I did. A fun weekend, If I do say so myself. The Sopranos is the best show on TV. It’s the only show I have to see. Just thought I’d throw that in.
Oh, I almost forgot – I lost a whole freaking hour to Daylight Savings time! What a rip off! Have a good day.