They don’t call me Bobby Vegas for nothing. I left Hoboken around 9 o’clock on Friday and drove to Atlantic City. I got there and held off on the serious gambling until I could survey the area. I didn’t want to rush into anything. Years ago, I went into a casino and lost $200 in about an hour. That was a bad feeling and I didn’t want to repeat it. OK, back to the story, the $100 I said I was only going to gamble with became $150 and by the time I walked through the casino doors, it was $200, I added the extra $50 for travel expenses, ha ha. During the checking out phase I dropped about $60 into various slot machines, big mistake. The slots take your money very quickly and it’s easy to get caught up in a trap of one more $20 and I’ll probably hit the jackpot. I finally thought the time was right to find a blackjack table.

Walter and I found a $15 table that we were comfortable with. I put $100 down and started my journey. I was up, I was down, back up again, up, down a little, down a lot until I ended up with the $100 I started out with. By this time it was probably close to 3am, we were tired and hungry. I looked at my stack of $100 chips and put it all on one hand. I said screw it, if I win, I win, lose, I lose. I lost. Oh well, we went to eat some breakfast. It was goooooooood. So good, that my energy was back. I went to the old ATM and took out $100. Just in case you’re counting, I’ve taken out a total of $300. I said to Walter, “I’m going back, you in?” And to his credit, he was in. I also want to thank Walter because if left on my own, I have a tendency to make sucker moves. An example of a sucker move is putting your last $100 on one hand; see what I’m saying? He was a good coach when I needed advice. Anyway, we had a great run at this table. I doubled down here and I doubled down there. Before I knew it I had a big stack of green chips in front of me. Green chips are $25. The dealer shuffled the deck and two more people joined the table and then we lost a couple of big hands and I said I was out. I think the new people threw off the good vibe. So, I left the table with one chip. A $500 chip! I won! I left a casino up for the first time in my life! So, if you’re still counting, I broke even and won $200. What a fun night! My boss, Eric, gave me $20 and told me to put it on red. If I win, walk away. I won; it was so easy, I thought, why not win him some more money? So, I let it ride and I lost. Again, a sucker move. He was cool about it. He gave me until 5 o’clock to clean out my desk, ha ha. My friend Jay gave me $10 to play with and I lost that too. My other boss, Justin, went to Foxwoods casino and won $395 playing roulette. He was only there for two hours.

On Saturday, I drove back to Hoboken and went to the A & P. I was dragging all day. I took a nap around four o’clock and just watched TV Saturday night. They’re going to raise my rent again. I may have to move in the not too distant future. Hoboken has priced me out. It just costs too much to rent here. There’s a new development on every block – it seems that way anyway. Oh well, 5 years in one town is probably enough. Does anybody know anything about Queens? Sunday, I woke up early and did my laundry. That reminds me, I’d like to work out a little something for my stand-up comedy act, here it goes:

I go to the laundry every week or every other week, you know, like normal people. However, there are people among us that do their laundry for the whole year. This usually happens when I’m doing my laundry. Where do these people come from? They come in with five bags and go back out to the car for five more. Talking about, you got any more machines?

Is that anything? After that thrill, I spring-cleaned the heck out of everything. I found 3000 Spanish Pesetas in my Spanish-to-English dictionary. 3000! I thought I struck it rich. I was going to retire and open a bar in Key West. I went to the bank this morning and it turns out that 3000 Pesetas equals out to only $14.67, damn. Now, I have to return my fur coat and solid gold toilet. Other than watching The Sopranos, that’s all I did. A fun weekend, If I do say so myself. The Sopranos is the best show on TV. It’s the only show I have to see. Just thought I’d throw that in.

Oh, I almost forgot – I lost a whole freaking hour to Daylight Savings time! What a rip off! Have a good day.

As my friend, Dave McCoy, used to say, “You look like a wet dog.” Emphasis on the word “wet” and it’s said with a long drawl. Rain! Sheets, cats and dogs, RAIN RAIN RAIN!!!! I usually like the rain because it hides my tears, but today I got soaked. My Odor Eaters were soaked. I’m lucky I have a spare set of shoes at work. If you’re a regular viewer of my message board you’ll know that a nice girl from Kentucky, Amanda, answered my plea for a single woman with a car for sale. She sent me this picture:

Wow, she’s very attractive but alas, she lives in Kentucky. Such is life. I like the car too, Amanda…how much are you selling it for? I just want to say thanks to Amanda for being so kind. Tonight, I’m doing something exciting, exciting for me anyway, ha ha. I’m going to meet some friends in Atlantic City. I was going to play one $100 hand of blackjack but my friend“Chad” advised against it. So, I’m going to play the $25 dollar table instead. At least that way I can play four hands and I want the option to double down. It may sound like a lot, but I’m setting a limit of $150. I’m mainly going down to do something different. I know what my apartment looks like on a Friday night. And Saturday night, Sunday night – and so on, ha ha. I’ve been listening to the Talking Head‘s first album, Talking Heads: 77, all week long. Its really good stuff! I like the year 1977. I drove a ’77 Buick LeSabre. That was my high school car; I put rims on it to make it sporty, ha ha. You’d know how funny that was if you ever saw a picture of one…let me look… Here:

I laugh but at the time the car was the best thing going. Oh, sweet memory lane. Sweet freaking memory-freaking lane! What have I done with my life? I think about all the missed opportunities and I get so angry, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much.

Time for Bob’s Friday Cliffhangers:

Will Bob meet the woman of his dreams this weekend?
Will Bob go crazy and fly to Kentucky to meet Amanda?
Will Bob strike it rich in Atlantic City?
Can Bob get back on his diet?
Will the rain ever stop?

OK, that’s it, have a great weekend!

I got home last night and watched the Deer Hunter. That’s such a heavy film, probably not the best thing to watch when you’re trying to relax after a crazy day. I couldn’t help it, it came on and I was glued to the set. So, to recap my night, I got home, watched The Deer Hunter and went to bed. I want to give a shout out to my friend Jay; today is his birthday. Happy Birthday man! I’m going to do something new today.

I’m going to start to work on my stand-up routine. Here it goes: Some people like to workout and then there are other people that don’t, am I right people? Give it up! OK, how was that? Pretty good, huh? I think that’s it for today. Have a good one.

I’ve got nothing today. I don’t know what I watched last night and nothing eventful happened today. Wait, I just remembered some guy in the bus station farted as we walked past each other. He just let it loose! God bless that man because he just doesn’t care anymore. I’m not sure but I think I’m losing my mind. I got home last night and I was talking to myself. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I need a new car. I want a convertible, with low miles and costs no more than $1000. Feel free to e-mail me if you happen to see one. I’m also looking for a woman, low miles and costs no more than $1000, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. See what I did, get it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Seriously, I am looking for a woman. If you’re a woman, drop me a line. Well, that was a new low.

OK, time to start my day. Enjoy!

Busy day at work yesterday – I was just doing this and that. I got off the bus last night and ran into my friend Tiffany. We each had a glass of wine and a nice little chat. It was a nice way to end the day. I always say, it’s the little things. I got home, watched Match Game and turned the channels around a few times.

I’m still not back on my diet yet but I will be soon. I’m fine with breakfast and lunch, but dinner and the evening is kicking my butt! The word “breakfast” reminded me of when I was a kid. I couldn’t say that word. I also had problems telling time and blowing my nose. I’ve been bringing in frozen dinners for my lunch and today was no different. I had to move my car from one side of the street to the other and I left my lunch on my backseat. I was halfway to NYC before I noticed. I just said to myself, “Damn.” In the bus station this morning there was a German couple walking behind me and I could hear every word they said. At one point I thought he said, “Wooden penis.” However, with his accent, it could have sounded like any number of words. Then again, what if I heard correctly? What is this guy talking about? There’s a whole subculture out there that we know nothing about. Leave it to the Germans to come up with a wooden penis — ?

Paula (Paula’s Notes) has a new note up this week. I told her I was going to give her the boot if she didn’t start writing them again. What would her life be like without this website, ha ha. I didn’t want it to come to that but in this crazy world of the Internet; you have to keep one step ahead of everybody else. That’s why my site is #1. Oh man. OK, time to start the day.

Have a good one.

The Oscars – I don’t know? Gladiator, best film? It looked great and had some good action, but I thought it was mediocre at best. I did like Steve Martin, I was laughing out loud, alone, with my cats. Oh sweet Lord is this what my life has become? Why, WWWWHHHHHYYYYY!!!!!???? Internet acting, thank you, thank you very much.

I thought it was a bad year for movies. Friday, I had dinner with Walter and Nancy. I also watched Wonder Boys, I didn’t like that film either. There was a lot of hype but I thought it was flat and uninspiring. Saturday, I watched TV all day. I’m not sure what I watched, I think my body just needed to rest. Sunday, I did my laundry and went to the A & P. I also went for a drive. I was looking for a shower curtain. I drove around for close to two hours and finally ended up at IKEA. I got it back home and it seemed huge. So, I cut it in half and now, it’s too small. So, I have to buy another one today. I had my last curtain for 5 years. It was solid red. I love the color red, but I overdid it in my bathroom. I’m going to get a clear shower curtain now. The one I messed up had some crappy fish on it. I’m not sure why I got it. I was probably just sick of the traffic. People were out yesterday. So this is my life. I stay at home, watch TV and for fun, I go out and buy shower curtains. Sweet Lord, is this your plan for me? Shower curtains? SHOWER CURTAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! It’s snowing today.

I still can’t believe Gladiator won. Have a good day.

I watched Forrest Gump last night. That’s a really good film. It always makes me cry and I think I need that right now. I saw it when it came out like 5 times. I kept going to Pulp Fiction over and over again too.

No more rain, it’s a great day in NYC! What up, America? OK, I’ve got nothing today. I’m just looking forward to this weekend. I’m going to sleep, walk, drive, watch movies, laugh, love and live damn it, LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m looking forward to watching the Oscars. At least I think I am, I may be caught up in all the hype. I mentioned something earlier in the week about buying a car for $1000. No one knows of a cheap car–low miles–for sale? Help a brother out.

That’s it for today. Have a great weekend. I want to end by giving a shout out to my Mom. What up?

Man, it was hard to get home last night! We had a rainstorm and everything was crazy. I got to the bus station and there was a huge line. So, I had to take the subway to get to the train station. I got home, but then I had to walk because there wasn’t a taxi around. I was soaked!

I watched The Sopranos and I’m all caught up. Man, that’s a good show! Then, I talked on the phone and that was it. I may see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon tonight but I’m not sure yet. I might save it for the weekend. Oh decisions — decisions! In keeping with the theory, less is best, that’s all I got today. Have a good one. I’m sleepy. Hey, check out my brother’s website, His band, Aftershok just made a major announcement. Way to go Georgie B!