I must apologize for the last two days of diaries. I let myself down, I let my fans down and I let my Mom down. No kidding, my Mom! I got an IM yesterday from her: “That wasn’t even worth logging on for.” Wow, thanks Mom! To make up for my misgivings, you’re in for a treat today. Today, I’m going to write the diary with a British accent. So, join me for what I promise will be the best diary this week.

Sweet Lord, I had such a horrible bus ride home last night. No traffic, it was a straight shot through the tunnel. The people around me just drove me nuts. The bus was not ventilated. I don’t need air conditioning, just a little fresh air. Smelling a bus full of stale cologne is enough to make me sick. Four, count ’em, four people made cell phone calls to their significant others with the exact same message, “I’m on the bus, I’ll be home in 5 minutes.” That drives me crazy! What did these people do before cell phones?! As far as I’m concerned, that’s cell phone abuse. I know I’ve talked about that before but these people just don’t seem to care about others around them. I’m really looking forward to the stage in my life when I’m not dependant on public transportation to survive.

I went to the CD store last night. I was looking for a couple of old CDs; they didn’t have them. I found a used Rollins Band live CD. It’s $17 new; I got it for $10. Just what the doctor ordered to knock out some pent up stress/anger. I also picked up a used CD from a new band, Loudermilk. The jury is still out on that purchase. I bought it mostly because they used to be a Guns ‘n Roses cover band. I heard that Slash and the other members of Guns are getting back together to record a record – minus Axl, of course. That’d be great! Slash is a great guitarist. And that’s it for music news, ha ha.

I think I’m getting a cold. My throat felt a little funny yesterday. It went away throughout the day but then I started feeling lightheaded. Note to my Mom – yes, I’m taking vitamins and getting plenty of rest. Damn colds!

I’ve been talking about driving up North for about a month to check out the fall foliage. When I was walking back from the record store I noticed several trees without leaves. I think I missed nature’s fireworks. I also missed that damn meteor shower the other day. I need to start picking up on the little joys of life. I’m deep into the work, sleep, work, sleep rut right now. DEEP!

I feel good about today’s diary. I even made a little outline to follow so it wouldn’t suck today.

Bob wrote an outline for today’s

diary (he tried today, he really tried!)

OK! That’s it! Have a great Thursday.

God Bless America.

I want to do something different today. Expanding on my 15 minute diary from yesterday, I thought, why not a 30-second diary? Here we go:

Woke up early yesterday, was at work by 8:30. I forgot to eat lunch – Blah blah blah. Here’s a photo of me next to my lamp.

Bob wrote today’s diary in

30 seconds
(someone should tell Bob
these “timed” diaries suck)

Got home, played some games, watched TV and relaxed. TIME.

OK, wow, 30 seconds isn’t a long time but I made my bed and I have to sleep in it. Mmmmmm, bed.

That’s it. God Bless America.

If I were the kind of person that titled his diaries and BTW, I’m not that kind of person, I’d title this one, 15-minute diary. Why? Because it’s only going to take me 15 minutes to write it! Not because I don’t care – I care; I really care. But because it’s 10:56 pm as I write this and I had a total of four beers. Three more than I wanted.

I was walking home and called up my friend Tiffany. I was thinking, damn, I wish I had a beer right now. She was game and the rest is history. I actually needed to kick it. I just feel stressed out these days. Not sure why? Anyway, Tiffany’s a good friend and man, did she have a great story to tell! I can’t share it with you because I’m sworn to secrecy – I can only say that a night at the pub was just what the doctor ordered – for both of us.

I think this is the part of my diary where I put up a stupid photo.

This is a photo of Bob’s

lampshade – Honestly, he’s not even
trying today

OK, my 15-minutes are up. This was the best diary ever. I went out, that’s something.

Have a great Tuesday! God Bless America.

Friday night, I watched The Man Who Wasn’t There. Good movie.

Saturday, I headed into the city to help my friend Jay move. He was moving to another apartment in his building. What an easy move! You pick stuff up, get on the elevator and you’re done. We moved a bookcase, some other bigger items and a sofa. Now, I want to talk about the sofa. There we were, four guys and a sofa vs. the elevator. The elevator won. We couldn’t get that SOB in there for anything! It was delivered in the elevator; history proves that it fit in there at one point. We had to carry it down a narrow staircase, 5 fights. What a struggle! Did I mention it was a sleeper sofa? We got it down to Jay’s new apartment and all was right with the world.

I headed back to Hoboken. I was an hour too early to see Punch-Drunk Love, damn. I walked over to the video game store and did a little window-shopping. I think I figured out what game system I want. Saturday night, I just watched TV and did more research on games.

Sunday, I woke up early and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. I got there around 10. There was only one other person in there and he was already drying his stuff. I love that. I grew a goatee this weekend but you can’t really see it.

Weekend goatee


After laundry, I drove to the A & P. I got home, unloaded my stuff and headed out to the video game store. I traded in my old ps1 last weekend and I also cashed in all of my old coins. I was ready to make my purchase. I decided to buy a
GameCube. $50 cheaper than x-box/PS2, very compact, great wireless controller and all the games I care about are made for the GameCube too. I’m not a fan of the shooter games. I’m more of a Mario guy. I like that the gamecube is just about games. No DVD or CD burner crap, just games. I really like it!

I watched some football, cooked up a steak and ended my night with The Sopranos and Curb your Enthusiasm. I had a good weekend.

That’s it! God Bless America.

Enough with the Old Navy commercials already! ENOUGH!

I think I’m safe when I say that Sweeps is to TV what Income Tax time is to Accountants. My point? I don’t think I have one. I’m just tired and for the second day in a row, my eye is twitching. I’m pretty sure it’s just a muscle spasm. If it turns out to be a permanent thing, well, I really have to have a serious talk with the Lord. Lord, give me a break already! A girlfriend or a small lotto win, that’s all I ask. Please, I don’t need a twitch. Lord, can you hear me? Lord. Lord? LORD!!!!!!!!!!! Internet praying, thank you, thank you very much.

On the bus home tonight, there was a guy that looked a lot like me. It was very uncomfortable. If anything, it explains why I don’t have a girlfriend – I’m a mess! I was very close to asking if I could take his photo for my site. Then I thought; that’s probably a bridge I shouldn’t cross. Sometimes it’s good to think things through.

I’m happy at the moment, I got through a very busy Thursday with flying colors and now I have the weekend in my sights — the sweet, sweet weekend. I should probably make some plans or something? Screw it; I’ll probably just play it by ear. I wonder if it’s worth driving up north to see the fall foliage? I wouldn’t mind going for a long drive and finding a little apple orchard somewhere. I should start eating apples. Maybe that’d break my almost yearlong binge on sugar. Damn sugar!

Damn, I just remembered, I can’t go anywhere on Saturday, I have to help my friend Jay move — although, that shouldn’t take all day. This may be a very easy move. He’s moving in to another apartment in his building. Sweet.

OK, that’s it. God Bless America.

Have a great weekend,

everybody!

Hello. If I can make it through today, I’m home free! I think I’m developing a nervous tick in my right eye from stress. That’s all I need! Maybe it’s just a muscle gone awry? I think I have a crick in my neck.I’m falling apart!

What’s a worse name for a movie than “Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever”? “Extreme Ops”. Congratulations, Hollywood! Good luck with that one.

I don’t like the local news. I just saw a story and the reporter was talking about the Mayor of NY’s plan to raise the commuter tax. To make her point that the tax would be 5 times higher, she raised her voice and said “5 times higher.” News seems to be leaning more and more into entertainment. CNN has completely lost it. News about Iraq was breaking left and right yesterday and they were running an expose on Kermit the Frog. Enough.

I can’t believe I have to cut it short again today. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’vehit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. I’ve hit a rut. In my high school drama class the teacher, Mrs. DeMayo, encouraged us to keep a diary. She told us if we couldn’t think of anything to write, just write “I can’t think of anything to write” and something will come to you. The important thing is to get into the habit of writing. She passed that knowledge on to me and I’m passing it on to you. That was the only class in High School I did well in, besides band.

OK, that’s it! God Bless America.

I was waiting for the bus last night for an uncomfortable amount of time. I was hot, some crazy lady kept checking for the bus every five seconds and I was getting pissed. That’s when I performed one of my favorite moves. I saw a bus from another company come into the station and I sprung into action: I walked across the upper platform, went back down stairs, walked to the other stop, walked back up the stairs and caught the other bus –nirvana! I’m telling you, it’s the little things!

On my walk home, I noticed the basketball court was covered with leaves — it was very pretty. It’s my photo of the day today. I liked it because it was out of character. A basketball court should be filled with basketball players. I like fall.

I watched a show about snipers on the History channel last night. It was very interesting. I wonder if they have classes on welding? I always wanted to weld something. OK, I think I’ve run out of things to say already. But instead of cutting it short two days in a row, I’ve arranged for a guest “speaker” to entertain you. My friend Pam was kind enough to help me out today. Without further adieu, I present to you – Three Paragraphs with Pam:

“Although I was completely flattered that Bob asked to write a little something in his diary, I don’t think I will be any more amusing than he is. I decided I could use this opportunity to vent out on something that is bothering me. Here we go.

Monday night my younger sister Cynthia called me at work and told me something strange happened to her. She received a collect call at our house from someone who she thought was Jill (later she admits they could have said Milton). Jill is a friend of mine from work, so she thought it might have been an emergency and foolishly accepted the call. A woman was on the line laughing and told her to hold on. Someone started playing the song “Dancing in the Street“, followed by a ring as if she was being transferred to someone else. A guy then picks up and plays the hello game with her, you know, the one where you both keep saying hello until one person gives in and says “who is this?” well she quit, hung up on him and called me.

Pam tells a story of phone calls,

lust and deception

Right away my mind traveled to those annoying emails warning you about people tapping into your phone line and dialing 900 numbers that run up your bill!!! I can’t lie I was afraid. I instructed her to immediately call the operator and report the situation. The operator told her to write down the time and date of the call and wait for the phone bill to see if any strange charges are on it. Being that I just got my phone bill I have to wait until next month to
further investigate! I feel better now that I let that out. If this or anything similar has ever happened to anyone else please let the staff at bobborden.com know. Thank you Bob Borden, and bobborden.com readers.”

— No, thank you Pam. I’m sure it was just a stupid prank. Damn punk kids!

That’s it! Have a great day. God Bless America.

Tuesday. I watched Monday Night Football last night. I’m in a Fantasy Football league this year and I’m enjoying football a whole lot more. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not a sports guy, I was in the band.

I also listened to a Warren Zevon LP that I purchased on EBAY last week. It was my first purchase on Ebay — it was very exciting. The LP was great! — A live record from 1980, it was unopened and only $15 including shipping. It’s not out on CD. My only other option was to buy it on cassette. I don’t like cassettes. I recorded the LP on to mini disc. I still like the mini disc format. Now that I have a copy that won’t deteriorate, I think I’m going to give the LP to a guy at work that would really enjoy it – I’m cool like that. Ha ha.

Sometimes vinyl is

cool

I may have to end it here today. Sometimes there’s just nothing else to say, you know? If you missed yesterday, don’t forget to check out the archives.

If I think of something wonderful, I’ll update this later today but I doubt it.

God Bless America.