Welcome back and happy 2001! I had a great vacation. I rang in the New Year with my Mom. I went to bed by 12:30. My tradition of lame New Year’s Eves continues. I spent a lot of quality time with my nephews, Luke and Jake. We went to Chuck E. Cheese.

That’s a fun place for kids. That’s Chuck, Luke and me. Jake isn’t in the shot because Chuck E scares the crap out of him. Jake cried when he got close to Chuck. A few days later we went sled riding. Man that was fun! My nephews were sledding on the same hill that my brother and I used to sled on some 20 years ago. It makes you think. I got on their sled that had a weight capacity of 10 lbs. I flew down the hill, hit the pavement and broke their sled. They said “Uncle Bobby, why did you break our sled?” I felt bad but I got over it, ha ha. Don’t worry, new sleds were bought and all is well. Now I want to go snowboarding. Just imagine 400 pounds on a snowboard! I’m going to do it – it looks like fun. I did some chores around the house and that was it for Steubenville. I drove back to Hoboken on Thursday. I’ve been bumming around ever since. I haven’t seen a movie in a long time; I just don’t feel like it.
My good friend Tiffany and myself went to a small get together Saturday night. I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t know anyone and I always think twice about meeting new people. I told myself to quit being such a wet blanket and just go. I met Dave and Deirdre, the hosts and Scott, their friend. It was really fun, they had these great appetizers and Dave made martinis. I really had a good time. They were all good people. Scott and I talked about motorcycles. I love motorcycles. The martinis just kept coming and I just kept drinking and drinking. Anyway, the last thing I remember, I was sitting on the sofa having a beer. The rest of this story is brought to you by Tiffany and Scott, as again, I don’t remember anything.

If you have a weak stomach, please don’t read any further, have a great day and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. OK, so I got up to check out the computer with Dave and Scott and then I went to the bathroom. I came back out to the front room and sat down and fell asleep. Fell asleep, passed out, it’s all relative. I was as white as a sheet and then I just threw up all over myself. I go out, meet nice people and then I throw up in their home. I usually don’t throw up on myself until I really get to know someone. Dave and Deirdre, I’m sorry! Tiffany, thank you so much for all your help. Just a sidebar, Tiffany really looked wonderful and she was sweet enough to help me with my puke and it was a real mess! I’m such a jerk. I think a line was crossed there, it’s kind of hard to forget something like that. As a result of this incident and another about 3 years ago, I threw up on a white van and woke up in a friend’s bathroom, I’ve decided to quit drinking. No more sweet elixir for Bob, I’m done! Kids, learn from my example, it’s not fun to over indulge. I’m glad it’s over! OK, I told you last time that I was going to think about updating this site. I have some good ideas and as soon as I can get together with my designer, Walter, BobBorden.com version 2.0 will be on a screen near you, soon. Now, how’s that for a vacation story?
Have a great day.

Wow, the year 2000 is very close to being history. It’s hard to believe that this site has only been up since October 31st! I don’t want to pat myself on the back but I think we’re at the “so far, so good” stage. The site was in Time Out New York and Hobokeni.com. Plus, I get about 200 hits every day. I want to say thank you to all the loyal readers of BobBorden.com. I’ve met some pretty interesting people because of this site. Thank you.


I also want to send big thanks to Walter Kim. Thanks, brother! As you probably already know, he’s my webmaster and designer. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be reading this.

OK, if you haven’t guessed by now,this is the last Bob’s Diary for 2000. I’m taking next week off to reflect and move forward with this site. We’re in a good place but there is room for improvement. I have some great ideas for 2001. My boss, Justin, brought up the point that there are a lot of “end of the year” lists floating around. And that made me think. So, ladies and gentleman, I’d like to present:BobBorden.com’s 2000 WRAP UP LIST:


1. Hush puppies
2. Cake
3. Hats
4. The nice lady in the subway that I buy my tokens from
5. Cats
6. The Kiss farewell tour
7. The little things
8. Las Vegas
9. TV
10. Rock N’ Roll


People from the press; please feel free to print my list. All my best for a safe and Happy New Year!See you in 2001!

Hello. I’ll be honest, not much going on. I worked yesterday, as usual and went home. It’s a quiet time of the year in New York. Not too much traffic going into the Lincoln Tunnel, not a lot of people on the streets of Hoboken. Thus, no run-ins with pretty girls and not a lot going on at the bus stop. It’s still very cold!


That’s it!

Busy day at work yesterday. We’re in the process of changing interns and all of the “little” things are falling into my lap. I don’t mind, I like to be busy. That reminds me, I want to say hello and again, thanks, to our former interns, Jimmy and Liz. They’re good people. I got back to Hoboken and finished up my cat sitting duties. Everything went well, a hairball here and there, but well overall. After that, I walked home and watched the film, Bound. I’m going to introduce a new part of Bob’s Diary today. Bob’s Two Word Film Reviews or BTWFR, for short, here it goes:
For the film, Bound: Sexy, sexy. Have a great day.

Hello. I hope everyone had a great Holiday. My weekend of solitude began on Friday. I ran some errands, not too many just enough to know that I didn’t want to go out anymore. I watched that film Seven or as it says on the DVD, Se7en, cute. Wow, that was a great film! I’d never seen it before, I was very surprised. Saturday, I bought some CD’s and walked around Hoboken a little. I didn’t want to stay out for a long time because I don’t want to spend anymore money this year. I have a week to go before I can spend again, ha ha. Sunday, it hit me — I’m alone on Christmas Eve. I watched some football and watched that film, Rushmore, again. I also watched A Christmas Story on TNT. They show that thing for 24 hours straight! I really enjoy it. I just wanted that day to end. And Monday, my friend Paula (Paula’s Notes) and her family invited me to Christmas dinner. I had a great time. Helen and Gus, her parents, sure did put on a good spread. So, thanks to Paula, Helen and Gus for taking me in. Take it from me, it’s pretty rare to find that kind of hospitality these days. So, that brings me to today.


Holy crap is it cold! The kind of cold where your snot freezes inside your nose. Ladies, did I mention that I’m single? Seriously, too cold. OK, that’s it! Have a great day.

Hello. First, I am going to be on the show tonight! So, don’t forget to tune in. Second, the show had its Christmas party last night, great time! I’m sitting here this morning, moaning, because Uncle Bobby didn’t know when to say “no” to the drinky drink. So, I’m a little out of it. However, it was worth it. I also think I became closer with two of our staff members, Pam and Angela. They taught me how to hug. They say it’s embrace and squeeze. I disagreed for a long time until they taught me how to do it right, ha ha. I guess I’ve been doing it wrong, I embrace and do the old hands up and down the back. So, thanks ladies, for putting me on the right track. By the way, I’m single. Sweet Lord am I single! I also saw an old friend, Lori. You know how some women should wear leather pants and some should not? Well, Santa gave me my gift early because she looked like an Angel. Absolutely gorgeous, plus, a wonderful person on top of that. Wow, I just reread what I wrote and I sound like a dirty old man. The kind of guy that chews on a cigar and calls women “sweets.” I assure you, that’s not the case. OK, I do call women “sweets” but it’s all in good fun. Wait, maybe I’m one of those people that doesn’t know they’re a pain in the butt. My whole life is a lie, I’ve been kidding myself for years, I’m so angry,AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! Internet acting, thank you. I’ll stop saying “sweets” when the cow starts jumping over the freaking moon, ha ha!


And with that, It’s time to close Bob’s Diary. I want to wish everybody all my best for the Holidays. I’m taking Christmas off, check back on Tuesday. Also,Paula, Happy Birthday sweets. Paula has officially turned thirty something, forever. She’s a great person. She doesn’t keep up with “Paula’s Notes” but what can you do? Have a good one.

OK, sorry about all the confusion about being on the show yesterday. I was on, I was off, etc. If you watched last night’s show you know it ended up that I was off. So, hopefully, it will be on today or tomorrow. It’s a holiday piece so there’s a timely factor involved. Oh well, it’s the holidays and nothing can dampen my sprit, nothing! About a year ago I started going on auditions for commercials. I came close but never landed that big or small role. I took a few acting classes and have headshots, etc. And just when I was ready to spring my new knowledge on the world, the commercial actor’s strike happened. I lost touch with my two agents, I was freelancing with both, and now, I consider myself to be out of the loop. In an attempt to get back in, I’d like to perform a little scene for you. I’ll be playing the part of Jim.

Mary
Wow, your hands feel great!
How did you get them so smooth?

Jim
When my hands get rough and raw, I use Robinson’s hand lotion to get my hands back to A-1 shape. Plus, the scent smells like a mountain stream. Robinson’s, that’s good stuff!

Agents and casting directors, please e-mail me. Have a great day!

I woke up this morning, looked out the window, and said outloud, snow! Not much but it was out there. The sidewalks were sheets of ice. I had to walk on the street. Again this week, I got to work by 8 o’clock. I don’t have to be here until 10 o’clock. Monday or Tuesday I noticed a guy on the bus. He had a toothpick in his mouth. I didn’t think much of it until today. I saw him again and again, he has a toothpick in his mouth. Does he always have a toothpick in his mouth? Before he leaves his house he must do a checklist: Wallet, check, keys, check, jacket, check. OK, I think I have everything, oh, wait, I forgot to put a toothpick in my mouth! Classy.

Unless I get bumped, I’m 99% sure that I’m going to be on the Late Show with David Letterman tonight. So, check it out and tell your friends to watch. OK, that’s all I got. Have a good day.

UPDATE: Bob’s appearance on tonight’s Late Show has been postponed until further notice.
-Webmaster

UPDATE (3:25pm):“Nevermind, it’s back on, maybe. Tune in tonight to find out.”
-Webmaster