Hello. Man it was humid this weekend. It just made me feel sick, like I had malaria. Anyway, I had Friday off. It was Emmy weekend and a lot of the staff flew out to LA for the ceremony. I declined to go because I just spent two weeks out there in August.

Friday, I woke up, staked my claim in front of the TV and stayed there until dinner. I picked up some Mexican food, mmmmmm. I watched more TV and called it a night. Some may say, I wasted a day off but I think I needed the rest.

Saturday, I drove to an electronics store, The Wiz. I wanted to buy a DVD to watch that night. I swear I was looking for an hour! I couldn’t find anything. Finally, I came across The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. I heard good things about it. It’s a cult classic. I didn’t care for it, at all. I sold it four hours after I bought it. Checkout the receipt from The Wiz:

The Wiz is wasting paper

That’s the biggest receipt I’ve ever seen! Multiply that and all their customers — so much waste. What a wasteful world we live in.

Hey, check it out; the A & P had a sale on paper towels. I bought 12 rolls of paper towels for $4.99!

$4.99 for 12 rolls of paper towels!

So I’m a hypocrite, at least I admit it.

Sunday, I drove into the city. I went to my office because I wanted to take some old junk home. I cleaned my office last week. Now it has a much more professional feel. Clean office, clean mind. After that I drove to Nutley and did my laundry. One of my favorite simple pleasures on earth is putting my clothes in the dryer; walking next door to the pizza parlor, order up a slice and an R/C Cola. That’s sweet living. OK, two slices.

Sunday Night, I watched the Emmy Awards. I’m happy to report that Late Show with David Letterman took home the Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series — Congratulations, to us. Very exciting!

That’s it for Monday! Have a great day. God Bless America.

Hi. Most of my day yesterday was spent rearranging my office. My desk was facing north, with a wall in front and a wall to my right. Now, my desk faces west, with windows to my left and the hallway to my right. Check it out:

Bob rearranged his

office yesterday

I have to say, I like it. I’m not hidden behind a door anymore. I put a couch in there and I have one of those little fountains, you know, for stress.

Because we’re not taping this week, I got out around 5. That’s sweet living. Makes me feel like I have a life. So what did I do with my extra time? That’s right, I went to Walter’s house and played video games. Damn that Tony Hawk game is great! We ordered in some Italian food for dinner. Oh what a night.

I was going to have a contest today but then I thought – Is there a way where everybody could win? And then it hit me! I’ll give away something for your computer – maybe some new wallpaper? I like that idea. Here’s the image:

Wallpaper your desktop

with Bob!

Click on the photo to make it bigger. Then, right click on the photo and select “set as background”. And Bingo, enjoy my photo on your desktop! Everybody wins!

OK, that’s it for today. I have Friday off. Tune back on Monday for more adventures of BobBorden.com. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

Thank the Lord there’s music. Certain songs make me feel certain ways, very interesting. G Love and Special Sauce makes me feel like its fall. Prince makes me feel the pain of love. And Right Said Fred makes me smile. Yes, I bought that record! I liked it; I don’t care what anyone says! The most embarrassing album I ever bought was, get ready, Chunky A — Arsenio Hall’s alter ego/Rap character. I’m not sure what I was thinking?! 1989 was a very confusing time for me. What was your most embarrassing music purchase? Let me know on my message board.

Bob’s most embarrassing music purchase

I’m not sure why I started talking about that? Anyway, I’m rearranging everything in my office at work. I spent yesterday cleaning out all the crap. Today, they’re going to move my desk from one side of the office to the other. I didn’t realize how much junk I had in there. I’m going to get rid of all the crap and go 100% business.

I started off this diary listening to G Love and Special Sauce. Now I’m listening to Anthrax. Caught in a Mosh!

Photo of Bob that has nothing to do with today’s diary

So, that’s all I have for today. I have my mind of the redesign of my office. It’s kind of important to me; I spend more time there than I do at home. I think I’m going to buy a plant today — maybe a fern.

Have a great day. God Bless America.

How’s it going? I thought I’d start off today’s diary with a question. Trying to mix it up a little bit. OK, now I’m going to talk about myself, ha ha.

I still can’t believe my Vanilla Ice Rap doll was on VH1 last night. Incredible! And people laughed when I was putting my Rap Doll collection together. Well, who’s laughing now? Huh, speak up — I can’t hear you! That’s what I thought.

I had a short day at work yesterday. We’re not taping this week and yesterday was a holiday. I got out at 2:30! My friend Jay and I went to the movies. We saw Barbershop.

Jay and Bob at the movies

(This photo has nothing to do with Barbershop)

Barbershop was just OK — A few funny moments and a few touching moments but nothing spectacular. I was a little disappointed. But it was a good way to kill a few hours. I think Jay felt the same way. We went to a DVD store and then parted ways. I headed back to Hoboken and cooked myself some dinner. On the menu, soup and a hamburger.

Time for a new feature to BobBorden.com, I call it: Supermarket Oddities. Here we go:

Someone at the Tostitos factory

was asleep at the switch

I saw that messed up bag in the store and I said to myself, that’s grade “A” diary material. I should sue the company but damn if those Tostitos ain’t tasty! That’s it for Supermarket Oddities.

And that’s it for today! Have a great day. God Bless America

Hello. I left you last Friday with promise of a MAJOR BobBorden.com announcement. I’m a man of my word: Making an appearance on VH1’s One Hit Wonders tonight, my Vanilla Ice rap doll.

Bob’s Vanilla Ice doll is on

VH1’s One Hit Wonders
Tonight at 10pm

A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from a Segment Producer for One Hit Wonders, Jason Cilo. He said he needed a Vanilla Ice doll for an upcoming Rap show. He did a search on the Internet, stumbled across my site and wanted to know if I’d loan him my doll. Hell yes, was my answer, ha ha. How exciting! My Vanilla Ice doll is on VH1 tonight?! Crazy world. “BobBorden.com” is also going to be listed in the credits under “special thanks”. Don’t forget to tune in. If you’re checking out my site because of that credit, welcome!

Friday night, I just chilled out. I got some Mexican food and watched the tube. Later in the evening, I listened to music. I listened to Prince’s Purple Rain two times all the way through. Fantastic CD! It still holds up.

Saturday, the plan was going to Mohegan Sun casino. I drove into the city, picked up Walter and we were on our way. Damn, it’s nice up there! My game: Blackjack. We got up there around 6:30pm. By 7:30, I was done. I lost, very fast. Walter lent me $100 so I wouldn’t get bored watching him play. I lost that. I went to the ATM so I could give Walter his $100 back – while I was there, I took out $100 for myself.

We came across the game of War. You know, the card game where the person with the high card wins. That’s a casino game! I couldn’t believe it. Even stranger, I couldn’t believe we were playing it! We went back to Blackjack and I ended up losing again.

Walter was on a winning streak and just gave me $100. He said it was for driving him up there. I put up about five seconds of resistance and took the money. I headed back to the BJ table and went on a nice little streak. I had a lot of $25 chips in my hand. I was sitting there for a long time. The dealer was using an automatic card-shuffling machine. She drew three Blackjacks in a row –ouch. I left the table with $150. I almost walked away $400 up but I got sucked back into the action, damn.

We had a great dinner at Jasper White’s Summer Shack. We ordered the clambake. Lobster, mmmmmmmmm.

Right after dinner we headed to the Blackjack table and both of us had incredible luck. I had about $800! I said to myself, better put some of this aside. I put aside $500 and played around with the rest. We were there for a long time. They switched dealers and then I started losing. I walked away with $400. I broke even and I couldn’t have been happier! I’d like to give special thanks to Walter for giving me that $100.

Walter gave Bob $100! Thanks, Walter!!!!

What a great time! Walter did very well for himself – he left with a lot more than he came with.

I got back to Hoboken around 3am.

Sunday, I woke up, did my laundry in Nutley, went to the A & P and cleaned my apartment. Sunday night, I went over to my friend Tiffany’s place to watch The Sopranos.Tiffany made a lovely dinner of pasta and scallops.

Bob and Tiffany wash a plate

Good time, great weekend! The Sopranos was just great! They even mentioned Steubenville! Cool.

That’s enough for a Monday. Have a great day. God Bless America.

Friday! Fri-day! FRIDAY!!!! Hello. The messages on my message board seem to get stranger and stranger as time goes on. People are actually planning my weekend before it even starts! Calm down. I have enough pressure without living up to those expectations, ha ha. I can tell you one thing I have planned: Gambling. My friend Walter and I are going to drive up to Mohegan Sun casino at some point. I have a gambling jones right now. I need to sit down at a Black Jack table and work through some issues. I’m only taking a small amount of money to gamble. That’s funny, “only taking a small amount of money” – Like I have another option! (I’m very poor.) I wish my car were big enough to fit more than two people, otherwise, I’d ask some more friends to come. Nissan!

My bosses, Eric and Justin, got their photo taken with former President Bill Clinton on Wednesday.

Eric, Bill Clinton, Justin

I thought that was pretty cool. Mr. Clinton even went into Rupert’s Hello Deli to get some coffee.

Hey, Barber Shop opens today! I might go see that this weekend. I’m a big Cube fan. I didn’t do anything last night. I worked late, got home late and just chilled. I wanted to go home, fix myself some champagne and strawberries and soak in a hot bath. I had to settle for going home, sucking back a Coors Light and crying myself to sleep. I’m just kidding; I didn’t have a Coors Light. Hahahahahahaha. “Boooooooooooo, you suck Borden!”

I think that may be enough for a Friday. Tune back on Monday – I’m going to make a MAJOR announcement. I don’t want to give it away but I will tell you this, it involves a rap doll, a TV show and yours truly. Exciting stuff!

Thank you for checking out BobBorden.com, tell your friends! Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

Hello. I watched a lot of the 9/11 coverage last night. I’m glad I did. I learned a lot more about the people, the heroes and the victims that I didn’t know. At some point last year, I just got on with my life. I haven’t thought about the attack, the people or the enemy for a while. I’m just as in shock as I was a year ago. I’m rambling. I didn’t know what to expect from 9/11/02, at the very least, it reminded me to never forget what happened on 9/11/01.

I was sitting on the bus last night, I looked up and my friend Tiffany was getting on. She sat down in front. I thought about yelling, “Hey, Tiff – over here!” Then, I thought, why not exercise my power of telekinesis? Stop after stop — nothing – I was starting to get a headache. Finally, I got up, walked over and sat beside her. She still didn’t notice me! –So much for telekinesis! She finally saw me and we had a good laugh.

We were walking past a Mexican Restaurant that has outdoor seating. I walked past a person eating nachos
— just as he/she dipped their nacho with salsa. He/She lifted the chip off to their side. At that exact moment, the chip and my arm met.

Yuk!

Isn’t that nasty!? Where was this salsa before it ended up on my arm? Was this person a double dipper? This was Tiffany’s reaction:

Tiffany was amused by the
strange salsa on Bob’s arm

Oh, we had another good laugh! Damn salsa!

I hope you got the chance to watch the Late Show last night. Former President, Bill Clinton, was the guest. It was a great appearance, great show.

OK, that’s all I have today. God Bless America.

My thoughts and prayers are with the 9/11 victims and their families. Never forget.

God Bless America